how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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