She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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