I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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