I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize