i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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