so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
