I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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