is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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