mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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