Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize