Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
