is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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