I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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