I think i peed on brittanys purse
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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