he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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