she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
