so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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