Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize