We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize