Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize