a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
