By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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