I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize