Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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