Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
