So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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