wrigley field is MILF paradise
I want to walk on stilts...naked
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
