My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
