just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
