So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
