dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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