last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
