this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dick very happy bro
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