Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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