We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
