from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
