I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
