Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize