I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
