I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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