You're completely useless in the revolution.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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