the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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