you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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