Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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