i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
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