Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
