Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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