My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Randomize
