I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
