i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
