I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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