So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
