omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Randomize
