Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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