how can u be prego again
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
