I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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