Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Floor bacon is actually really good
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
