Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
