before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
