Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
should my penis look like a turkey
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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